I’ve been teaching the exercise in our journaling classes and to my clients since 2017. It’s a powerful exercise we can return to time and time again. If you have 21 Days of Journaling - Questions Your Therapist Would Ask You will find this one on day 6 page 34 otherwise follow along below.
Many of us have been sold the dream that we can truly have it all. However, buried in the fine print is a crucial term and condition: you can have it all, but not all at once. When we take the time to ground into our priorities we start to loosen the grip comparison, guilt, stress and all the unimportant stuff has over us. We can finally focus, give ourself a much needed break and move towards a path aligned to our true desires.
What are Priorities?
Priority / Noun
"The fact or condition of being regarded or treated as more important than others."
It’s important to start here. The very definition helps us realise that it doesn’t mean the things we don’t prioritise aren’t important, they are. We are simply saying this one area of thing is the most important for a period of time.
The 20 Minute Journaling Exercise
Step One:
In the middle of your page, write down the main areas of your life, breaking it down into the key components where you spend your time and attention. Here is an example below. Feel free to make it your own and write words that resonate with you.
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Health
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Family
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Friends
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Money
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Career
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Mind/Personal Growth
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Spirituality
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Fun & Recreation
For you friends and family might be one category, maybe you replace spirituality with the word self care or religion. Make this list fit how you see the main areas of your life.
Step Two:
Reflect on the past 6-12 months. Identify the areas of your life that received the most time and attention. On the left-hand side of those words, label them from 1 (most time) to 8 (least time).
Please note that whatever you learn or any realisations you have, there's no judgement. The goal is to be curious about the past 6-12 months for the sole purpose of learning. There's no need to beat ourselves up about what may not have gone well; we're simply collecting data to grow and evolve (sign me up).
Stop, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and see how that feels.
Step Three: This is the fun part
Decide on your priorities for the next 6 months. On the right-hand side of the words, label them from most important to least important. Please note there is no tied place, no right or wrong, and no guilt needed. Take your time and remember they are the priorities for the next 6 months, not forever. If you removed the word 'should', what would your priorities be?
Get honest with yourself. If health isn't a priority this year, let it go and focus on what truly matters. If friends don't make it into the top 3, it doesn't mean you don't love and appreciate them. It simply means focusing on something else for a while, not forever.
Close your eyes, place your hand on your heart, and connect with that space where your true nature resides.
Your Top 3 Priorities
What are your top 3 priorities for the next 6-12 months?
Remember, everyone has different priorities in different seasons of their lives. Knowing yours helps to quieten the comparison game, reminding us that there is no race or deadline—just different priorities.
If you liked this exercise and would like to dive even deeper into this work check out journl. Therapy for 21 days of journaling exercises and prompts.