Hello!
It’s been 13 weeks since Lulu arrived, honestly the fastest 13 weeks of my life. It's been a whirlwind, and I wanted to share what it’s taught me, what’s shifted, and how I’m easing my way back into work
This second postpartum experience could not be more different from my first.
The first time around, everything was hard – the birth, the feeding, the sleep (oh god, the sleep). I went into round two braced for impact: quietly hopeful, slightly more confident but totally singed from those early weeks with Finn.
To my surprise, this time has been nothing like the last. Okay, the birth was familiar – in that it didn’t follow my well-laid plan (do they ever?). But Lulu arrived and... she’s been a dream.
Here’s what I’ve learned in the last 13 weeks:
Temperament is hardwired.
You can master the bedtime routine, curate the perfect sleep environment, have ideal nipples, and your baby will still do whatever the fudge they want. Yes, I’m more experienced now, and maybe Lulu feeds off my relaxed energy, but honestly? I’m not doing much differently – and yet, I’m having a vastly different experience.
If you're in the trenches now, doing everything you can and still not getting much sleep... It's not you... It's them. Seriously. The infant sleep industry is a multi billion dollar industry, it's designed to make you think it's you.
Turns out, I don’t like being helped.
Post-birth pain was no joke, for weeks, not even the hard stuff touched the sides. I couldn’t be left alone with my kids, or with myself, really. I needed 24/7 help. I’m talking 'help to put on my own knickers' level of help. Choose your partners wisely, my friends. In the hard times, you’ll need someone both loving and highly proficient in pad application.
It felt physically uncomfortable to be constantly asking for help, but sitting in that discomfort and receiving it anyway is something I’ll remember fondly. My village dug deep, deeper than I ever expected. That leads me onto the third.
Some people will show up. And some... just won’t.
And that’s okay. People came out of the woodwork, some unexpectedly, and in the best way. If you have a friend having a baby and you’re in a season where you can show up – do it. They will remember your contribution for a lifetime, even if it’s burnt or soggy.
Light and shade coexist - if you let it.
In the beginning, the unmanageable pain I was experiencing covered everything, even the good moments. I felt SO sorry for myself and it was the only thing I could focus on.
Thankfully, a girlfriend came over and gently helped me see the wood for the trees. The pain was still there, very much there, but so was the joy and the happiness. I realised I didn’t have to let the hard parts define the whole experience. I could hold both things at once. The pain sucked – and still... There was so much light. This isn't about putting a bow tie on a turd, in a toxic positivity kind of way, but it is about coming back and choosing what you focus on.
Light and shade can, and do, coexist. The real magic happened when I let them.
I love what I do but I’m unsure how to do it.
I know, I might sound like that person - but it’s true. I’ve actually been itching to get back to work. I do though think daily about how on earth I’m going to do both. For me the lesson has been grace and flexibility. Some days I power ahead and some days are impossible.
This season of life looks like asking for help, letting people in and being okay with prioritising what I want to.
I’ve loved and am loving working and mothering. It will be the greatest work I do in this lifetime for sure. I haven’t quite figured out the rhythm yet, but it feels good to be reconnecting with my work and slowing getting back to my clients.
I’ve started opening up my calendar again, and I’ll be releasing a few more client spots soon for those on the waitlist.
For now, I’ll be back posting more, and your orders will keep going out (which, by the way, has brought me so much joy, thank you).
So let’s see where this goes, shall we? The party’s not back in full swing just yet, but we’re warming up – and I’m so glad you’re here for it. Honestly thank you!