What Makes a Good Life?
It’s a simple question. But one we rarely spend time answering.
For thousands of years, philosophers have debated this very thing and they came up with two main schools of thought.
Hedonism - the idea that a good life is a pleasurable life. This isn’t purely about sexual pleasure. It’s about pleasure in the everyday. Sitting around in the sun being fed grapes or more modern experiences like buying new clothes or going on holiday.
Pleasure feels good. But here’s the thing. Experiences of pleasure are typically short-lived.
Could you live on holiday forever? Or does it lose its charm?
You buy the new car, but a few months later? It’s just your car.
The pleasant feelings naturally subside. We adapt. We move on. We get excited by the next thing. Psychology calls this hedonic adaptation, the “treadmill” where we keep chasing the next thing hoping to feel that lift of pleasure.
Eudaimonism - Is the idea that a good life is a life well lived. This second school of thought offers something deeper.
Even Aristotle, back in 350 BC, was onto this. He spoke about eudaimonia being the idea that a full life isn’t one of constant happiness or pleasure, but of alignment with your true nature.
A good life is a meaningful life.
Dr Emily speaks about this in her book ‘Unstuck’ and suggests that pain and discomfort are part of pursuing your true nature. Wellbeing is earnt through experiences of sacrifice and effort.
Think about parenting, building something from scratch or having a hard but honest conversation. These moments aren’t always pleasurable. Most of the time they are farking uncomfortable but they are deeply meaningful.
And meaning sustains us in a way pleasure can’t.
So how do we live a meaningful life? This is where values come in.
Your values are not goals. They are not achievements. They are not things you acquire. They are chosen life directions. They are what give your life meaning.
Goals can be reached and lost. Achieving them can also be dictated by something outside of yourself, something you can not control. But values can be lived every single day.
So… What Makes a Good Life?
It’s not constant happiness.
It’s not endless pleasure - as we have discussed those two do not exist.
It’s also not an external success.
A good life is one lived in alignment with your values.
A life where your daily actions reflect what truly matters to you in each season of life.
When we lose connection with our values, life can start to feel restless or sticky. And that’s when we come back to our values, redefine them and start to think about how we can life by them day by day.
If you’d like support uncovering your own values, I’ve created a free values journaling class where we explore what values really are, why they matter and how to define yours.
You can access it here.